--- title: "Gottman Method Therapy in California | Certified Gottman-Trained Therapist — Fanshen Thompson, LCSW" description: "Certified Gottman-trained couples therapist offering Gottman Method therapy online statewide California. Berkeley-based LCSW. 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Delivered weekly via secure video.", "performer": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/about#person" }, "availableService": { "@type": "MedicalTherapy", "name": "Online Gottman Method Couples Therapy", "areaServed": { "@type": "State", "name": "California" } } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Approach", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/approach" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Gottman Method", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/approach/gottman-method" } ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "FAQPage", "speakable": { "@type": "SpeakableSpecification", "cssSelector": [ "h1", ".faq-question", ".faq-answer" ] }, "mainEntity": [ { "@type": "Question", "name": "What is the Gottman Method, exactly?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "The Gottman Method is a research-based approach to couples therapy developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman over four decades of studying real couples in their Seattle 'Love Lab.' At its core it's a structured framework — the Sound Relationship House — that maps the components of a thriving relationship: knowing each other deeply, building affection, turning toward bids for connection, managing conflict, and creating shared meaning. In sessions, we use that map to identify where your relationship is stable, where it's straining, and what specific work will move things. It's pattern-based and skill-based rather than open-ended talk." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "How is Gottman Method different from other couples therapy?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Most couples therapy is conversational — you bring what came up that week and the therapist helps you process it. Gottman Method adds structure on top of that. We start with a formal assessment of your relationship's strengths and vulnerabilities, then work systematically through the areas that need attention. There's research behind almost every intervention, and there are measurable outcomes you can track. It tends to feel less like 'venting in front of a referee' and more like learning a shared language for your relationship. I integrate it with somatic awareness and attachment work so it doesn't become mechanical." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "How long does Gottman Method therapy usually take?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "It varies. The first three to four sessions are assessment — a joint intake, individual sessions with each partner, and a feedback session where I share what I'm seeing. After that, most couples I work with stay in weekly therapy for six months to two years. Couples in acute crisis often need more frequent or longer sessions early on; couples doing maintenance or skill-building can sometimes move to biweekly sooner. The Gottmans' research suggests meaningful change typically takes between 20 and 40 sessions, though every couple is different." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Is Gottman Method right for couples in crisis or considering divorce?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Yes, with one important caveat. The Gottman Method has specific protocols for couples in acute distress, including those recovering from affairs and those on the brink of separation. It's also clear-eyed about which relationships are likely to repair and which are not — the assessment phase will give us honest information about that. If one partner has already decided to leave, or if there's active untreated addiction or ongoing domestic violence, we'd talk about whether couples work is the right container or whether individual work needs to happen first. I won't push a relationship to stay together that shouldn't." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Does Gottman Method work for LGBTQ, non-monogamous, or other relationship structures?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Yes. Dr. Julie Gottman has stated explicitly that the Gottman Method is applicable to all relationship structures, and the Gottman Institute's research has included same-sex couples for decades. The Sound Relationship House and the work around the Four Horsemen aren't tied to gender, orientation, or monogamy — they describe how connection works between humans. I adapt the work for LGBTQ couples, polyamorous constellations, and relationships that don't fit a single template, and I do it without making your structure the focus of the therapy unless you want it to be." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Can we do Gottman Method therapy online instead of in-person?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Yes — all of my Gottman work is online via secure video, and it works well. The Gottman Institute has formally endorsed online delivery, and the assessments, interventions, and skill-building all translate cleanly to telehealth. For California couples in particular, online removes a real barrier: you don't lose an hour of your week to traffic, and you can do the work from a setting that already feels like your relationship's home. I see couples across the state — Bay Area, LA, San Diego, Sacramento, Central Coast — without anyone needing to drive to Berkeley." } } ] } ] --- [![Fanshen Thompson, LCSW](/assets/logo-mark-DCWEUPFA.png)Fanshen Thompson LCSW ](/) [Home](/)[About](/about) Services Specialties [Approach](/approach)[Notes](/blog)[FAQ](/faq)[Resources](/resources) [Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation](/contact#book) APPROACH · CALIFORNIA # Gottman-trained therapy _for real change._ The Gottman Method is one of the most-researched approaches to couples therapy — built on 40+ years of John and Julie Gottman's work tracking what actually predicts whether relationships last. As a Certified Gottman-trained therapist, I use this framework to help couples move from circular conflict to genuine understanding. [Schedule a Free 20-Minute Consultation](/contact) ## Built on what _actually predicts_ whether love lasts. The Gottman Method grew out of more than four decades of research at Dr. John Gottman's "Love Lab" at the University of Washington, where he and his colleagues observed thousands of real couples — newlyweds, long-married partners, couples in crisis — and tracked them longitudinally for years. The result is one of the only therapeutic models that can predict, with documented accuracy in the high 80s and 90s, whether a couple will stay together or separate based on how they interact during a fifteen-minute conflict. From that research, John and Julie Gottman built a framework called the Sound Relationship House. The "floors" of the house describe the things healthy couples do — building deep love maps of each other's inner worlds, sharing fondness and admiration, turning toward small bids for attention rather than away from them, accepting one another's influence, managing conflict instead of trying to eliminate it, making life dreams come true together, and creating shared meaning. The "walls" are trust and commitment. The work of therapy is figuring out which floors are sturdy and which are sagging, and reinforcing what's needed. Gottman also identified four specific patterns — what he called the Four Horsemen — that reliably predict relational distress: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Each has an antidote, and learning to recognize and replace them is one of the most concrete shifts couples experience. Contempt softens into appreciation. Defensiveness gives way to taking responsibility for a piece. The cycle changes. What makes this different from open-ended talk therapy is that it's pattern-based and skill-based. We're not just processing what came up last week — we're working with a map, naming what we see, and practicing specific repair attempts and conversations. Progress is measurable, and you tend to know what you're building toward. ## How I work _with this._ I use Gottman as the structural foundation, but I don't run sessions as a worksheet. The framework gives shape to work that can otherwise feel like endless circular conversation — it tells us where to look and what to build. Around that structure, I bring in somatic awareness (what's happening in your bodies as the conflict rises), attachment theory (what each of you learned about love long before you met), and mindfulness (the pause that makes a different response possible at all). In practice that means the assessment is rigorous, the interventions are specific, and the conversations stay alive. You'll leave sessions with something concrete to try, and we'll come back to what actually happened — not in a graded way, but in a curious one. The point is not to perform the method correctly; it's to use it to find each other again. ## Who this _really helps._ - Couples stuck in the same recurring fight, where the topic changes but the dynamic doesn't - Partners who love each other but can't seem to get heard - Couples navigating a major life transition — new parents, a career shift, recovering from betrayal - Long-term couples who have drifted into parallel lives and want to find their way back - Partners who want a clear framework rather than open-ended exploration - Couples who want to build skills before they're needed in crisis ## What the work _looks like._ The first three or four sessions are a structured Gottman assessment — a joint conversation about your history and what's bringing you in, individual sessions with each of you, and the Gottman Relationship Checkup, a detailed inventory that surfaces the specific places your Sound Relationship House is strong and the places it's straining. After that I share what I'm seeing, and we shape the work together. From there we meet weekly in 50, 75, or 90-minute sessions, all online via secure video. The middle phase of the work is where most of the change happens — building skills around the patterns we've identified, practicing repair attempts, slowing down the conflict cycle in real time so a different ending becomes possible. We track what's shifting, and we adjust as we go. ## Common _questions._ ### What is the Gottman Method, exactly? ### How is Gottman Method different from other couples therapy? ### How long does Gottman Method therapy usually take? ### Is Gottman Method right for couples in crisis or considering divorce? ### Does Gottman Method work for LGBTQ, non-monogamous, or other relationship structures? ### Can we do Gottman Method therapy online instead of in-person? Related work ## Where this connects. [ Therapy ### Therapy for Couples Open-ended weekly couples work, online statewide. Explore → ](/therapy/couples) [ Therapy ### Sex Therapy Desire, intimacy, and embodied connection. Explore → ](/therapy/sex-therapy) [ About ### About Fanshen Training, lineage, and how I work. Explore → ](/about) [ FAQ ### Common questions Logistics, fees, scheduling, and fit. Explore → ](/faq) Begin ## Ready to do this work? The first step is a free 20-minute consultation — a low-pressure conversation about what's been hard and whether this approach is the right fit for you both. Most couples know within those twenty minutes whether they want to move forward. [Schedule a Free 20-Minute Consultation](/contact) ![Fanshen Thompson, LCSW logo](/assets/logo-mark-DCWEUPFA.png) Relationship therapy for people who are ready for real change. Licensed Clinical Social Worker · LCSW #25004 [](https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/971893) Affiliations ![Gesher Community Care affiliate provider](/__l5e/assets-v1/7e4684e6-648d-48d4-892e-5c8678e89c88/gesher-community-care.png) Online Therapy Sessions held via secure video for clients across California. Hours Tue–Fri, 9am–6pm PT Contact [fanshen@fanshenthompson.com](mailto:fanshen@fanshenthompson.com)[Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation](/contact) [](https://www.linkedin.com/in/fanshen-thompson-lcsw-672425216/)[](https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086164215212)[](https://pin.it/5enxDfD) Explore - [About](/about) - [Therapy](/therapy) - [Therapy for Couples](/therapy/couples) - [Therapy for Individuals](/therapy/individuals) - [Sex Therapy](/therapy/sex-therapy) - [Notes](/blog) - [FAQ](/faq) - [Resources](/resources) - [Relationship Therapy in Berkeley](/relationship-therapy-berkeley) - [Find an Online Sex Therapist](/how-to-find-an-online-sex-therapist) - [Contact](/contact) Specialties - [Infidelity & Affair Recovery](/specialties/infidelity-affair-recovery) - [Desire Discrepancy](/specialties/desire-discrepancy) - [Sexual Shame](/specialties/sexual-shame) - [Communication Breakdown](/specialties/communication-breakdown) - [Anxious Attachment](/specialties/anxious-attachment-couples) - [Parenting Conflict](/specialties/parenting-conflict) In crisis? If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call or text [988](tel:988) (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or call [911](tel:911). This site is not a substitute for emergency care. [Privacy](/privacy.html)[Terms](/terms.html)[Cookies](/cookie.html)[Disclosures](/disclaimers.html)[Good Faith Estimate](/good-faith-estimate.html)[Accessibility](/accessibility)[Cookie Settings](/cookie.html) Contacting this practice does not establish a therapist–client relationship. Individual outcomes vary. Nothing on this site guarantees a specific clinical result. © 2026 Fanshen Thompson, LCSW. All rights reserved. Photography by Allison Busch Website by [Automaus.ai](https://automaus.ai) Your privacy matters Functional cookies are required. Analytics and marketing cookies are off by default — you choose. 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