--- title: "What Couples Therapy Actually Looks Like | Fanshen Thompson, LCSW" description: "A grounded look at what really happens in the room — and online — when two people start couples therapy together." lang: en json-ld: | [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": [ "ProfessionalService", "MedicalBusiness", "MedicalClinic" ], "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#business", "name": "Fanshen Thompson, LCSW", "url": "https://fanshenthompson.com", "logo": "https://fanshenthompson.com/og.jpg", "image": "https://fanshenthompson.com/og.jpg", "email": "fanshen@fanshenthompson.com", "priceRange": "$$$", "medicalSpecialty": "Mental Health", "address": { "@type": "PostalAddress", "addressLocality": "Berkeley", "addressRegion": "CA", "addressCountry": "US" }, "areaServed": { "@type": "State", "name": "California" }, "contactPoint": { "@type": "ContactPoint", "contactType": "customer service", "email": "fanshen@fanshenthompson.com" }, "founder": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#practitioner" }, "employee": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#practitioner" }, "openingHoursSpecification": [ { "@type": "OpeningHoursSpecification", "dayOfWeek": [ "Tuesday", "Wednesday", "Thursday", "Friday" ], "opens": "09:00", "closes": "18:00" } ], "sameAs": [ "https://www.linkedin.com/in/fanshen-thompson-lcsw-672425216/", "https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086164215212", "https://pin.it/5enxDfD" ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Person", "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#practitioner", "name": "Fanshen Thompson", "honorificSuffix": "LCSW", "jobTitle": "Licensed Clinical Social Worker", "url": "https://fanshenthompson.com", "image": "https://fanshenthompson.com/og.jpg", "email": "fanshen@fanshenthompson.com", "address": { "@type": "PostalAddress", "addressLocality": "Berkeley", "addressRegion": "CA", "addressCountry": "US" }, "worksFor": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#business" }, "hasCredential": [ { "@type": "EducationalOccupationalCredential", "credentialCategory": "License", "identifier": "LCSW #25004", "recognizedBy": { "@type": "Organization", "name": "California Board of Behavioral Sciences" } } ], "knowsAbout": [ "Couples Therapy", "Relationship Therapy", "Sex Therapy", "Individual Therapy", "Intimacy", "Communication", "Attachment", "Sexual Shame", "Desire Discrepancy" ], "sameAs": [ "https://www.linkedin.com/in/fanshen-thompson-lcsw-672425216/", "https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086164215212", "https://pin.it/5enxDfD" ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#website", "url": "https://fanshenthompson.com", "name": "Fanshen Thompson, LCSW", "publisher": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#business" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Blog", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/blog" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "What Couples Therapy Actually Looks Like", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/blog/what-couples-therapy-actually-looks-like" } ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": [ "BlogPosting", "MedicalWebPage" ], "headline": "What Couples Therapy Actually Looks Like", "description": "A grounded look at what really happens in the room — and online — when two people start couples therapy together.", "datePublished": "2026-04-12", "dateModified": "2026-04-12", "author": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Fanshen Thompson", "url": "https://fanshenthompson.com/about", "honorificSuffix": "LCSW", "jobTitle": "Licensed Clinical Social Worker" }, "reviewedBy": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Fanshen Thompson", "url": "https://fanshenthompson.com/about", "honorificSuffix": "LCSW" }, "lastReviewed": "2026-04-12", "publisher": { "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/#organization" }, "mainEntityOfPage": { "@type": "WebPage", "@id": "https://fanshenthompson.com/blog/what-couples-therapy-actually-looks-like" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Notes", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/blog" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "What Couples Therapy Actually Looks Like", "item": "https://fanshenthompson.com/blog/what-couples-therapy-actually-looks-like" } ] } ] --- [![Fanshen Thompson, LCSW](/assets/logo-mark-DCWEUPFA.png)Fanshen Thompson LCSW ](/) [Home](/)[About](/about) Services Specialties [Approach](/approach/gottman-method)[Notes](/blog)[FAQ](/faq)[Resources](/resources) [Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation](/contact) [Back to notes](/blog) Couples # What Couples Therapy Actually Looks Like April 12, 2026 · 6 min read Most couples come to therapy after years of trying to fix things on their own. The first session is rarely dramatic — it's quiet, careful, and often a relief. I'll ask you both how you got here, what you've already tried, and what you each want from this work. There's no script, but there's a structure: we slow things down enough to see what's actually happening between you. Over time, the patterns become visible. The same fight you've been having for ten years stops being one fight and starts being information — about attachment, history, and what each of you needs to feel safe. The work isn't about who's right. It's about learning to be in the room together, even when it's hard. That's what changes a relationship. Begin ## Let's start with a free conversation. A 20-minute consultation so we can see if we're a fit — and so you can get a feel for how I work. [Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation](/contact) ![Fanshen Thompson, LCSW logo](/assets/logo-mark-DCWEUPFA.png) Relationship therapy for people who are ready for real change. 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Hours Tue–Fri, 9am–6pm PT Contact [fanshen@fanshenthompson.com](mailto:fanshen@fanshenthompson.com)[Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation](/contact) [](https://www.linkedin.com/in/fanshen-thompson-lcsw-672425216/)[](https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086164215212)[](https://pin.it/5enxDfD) Explore - [About](/about) - [Therapy](/therapy) - [Therapy for Couples](/therapy/couples) - [Therapy for Individuals](/therapy/individuals) - [Sex Therapy](/therapy/sex-therapy) - [Coaching](/coaching) - [Notes](/blog) - [FAQ](/faq) - [Resources](/resources) - [Relationship Therapy in Berkeley](/relationship-therapy-berkeley) - [Find an Online Sex Therapist](/how-to-find-an-online-sex-therapist) - [Contact](/contact) Specialties - [Infidelity & Affair Recovery](/specialties/infidelity-affair-recovery) - [Desire Discrepancy](/specialties/desire-discrepancy) - [Sexual Shame](/specialties/sexual-shame) - [Communication Breakdown](/specialties/communication-breakdown) - [Anxious Attachment](/specialties/anxious-attachment-couples) - [Parenting Conflict](/specialties/parenting-conflict) In crisis? 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